The Ultrasound

(I pre-dated this entry. I did not have the clarity to write about this day until months later)
I personally am not a big believer in the routine use of ultrasound. I was comfortable in going this entire pregnancy without an ultrasound. My husband was not comfortable with that, so we agreed to one ultrasound at around 20 weeks. He wanted to know the baby’s sex and know from the ultrasound’s perspective that everything was “alright”.
The birthing center does not provide ultrasounds at their facility. They set up an appointment for us at the Fort Sanders Regional Hospital, we would have an appointment at the perinatal center. We took our three-year-old daughter with us and explained what we would be doing there.
During the course of our ultrasound, our technician was oddly quiet. I asked questions but her answers were extremely brief and evasive. She left the room after performing a very long ultrasound. The doctor entered the room with the words “We have a problem.” Those are words that are embedded in my brain forever, my heart sunk.
We were ushered into a very small room and asked to wait for the genetic counselor. My husband, my daughter and myself sat in that room for what seemed like an eternity. I had every scenario that I could think of flashing through my mind. My daughter was being quite antsy and we were trying not to have her be upset despite our stress.
The genetic counselor entered the room. She was a mild mannered young lady. She had a piece of paper and pen with her. She explained we were having a girl, and she had a condition called Hydrocephalus. This was also known as water on the brain. They also diagnosed what looked like Dandy Walker Malformation. She scribbled some things on paper, explaining the possible outcomes, etc. It is all a bit of a blur as I look back. These weren’t conditions I had ever heard of before. The doctor spoke with us for a few minutes. The words “termination of pregnancy” were tossed out of their mouth. My husband quickly shook his head, knowing that was not an option for us.
I was in shock. I was crying. We exited through the crowded waiting room full of expectant mothers. Ugh.

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