Playful Parenting – A book review

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I was first introduced to the book Playful Parenting through Code Name Mama. She started an online book club and this was the first book up for discussion. I had the best of intentions to read the assigned portions each week and participate in the online discussion questions. I really did! My local library had the book, it was signed out and I would be next on the list.  I  finally checked out the book and dove in! It was so refreshing and enlightening to read. I had little post-it notes sticking out of several pages with points that I wanted to write down and remember. Well, I don’t know how it works at your house, but I rarely get time to myself to sit and read. I try to read before I fall asleep at night, but often I’ll read a few pages and I’m ready to fall asleep. So the online book club started and ended without me. I was too slow. Here we are a year later  I’m finally getting my thoughts about Playful Parenting down. This is one of those books that stays with you after you read it, I loved it! It’s a true gem of a parenting book and I really feel any parent could benefit from reading it more than once.
One of the main ideas I took away from the book was learning to make those ‘connections’ with my kids on a daily basis. Dr. Cohen speaks about keeping our child’s cup full. We can do this through  making meaningful connections with our children. Playtime can boost our children’s confidence and strengthen that parent-child bond and help us make these connections.  The book is full of a lot of simple, yet sage advice for parents. He encourages parents to simply set aside playtime. Most parents know this is a lot easier said than done. The simple act of setting up some one on one time( start with 10-15 minutes) with your child can lead to connection, engagement, and interaction. This is time when you follow the child’s lead with no interruptions and give them your undivided attention. Playing with your children, really playing..wrestling, pillow fighting, following -their- lead  kind of play can be beneficial in so many ways.
Dr. Cohen gives some simple steps that parents can take to make those connections on a daily basis.  Making eye contact, cuddling, offering  forgiveness, or a simple hug are simple ways we can take ourselves less seriously and make those connections. Parents and children alike often turn away from connection when they feel bad about themselves, we put ourselves in what Dr. Cohen calls the “tower of isolation.”
This parenting job isn’t easy, we’re exhausted and grumpy after a long day.   Making that simple connection with our kids can make a world of difference. He encourages us with simple strategies such as choosing time together on the couch instead of time out. This is a simple time to reconnect without a power struggle.
Issues such as sibling rivalry and discipline are also addressed. It’s really a jam-packed resource of valuable parenting strategies. It was a very easy-to-read book with lots of real life examples from children just like yours and mine. It really gives us some insight to some of our children’s behavior. He really peeks into the lives of children. He gives us a glimpse of what our children’s less than ideal behavior may really be trying to communicate with us. Did you know your child’s behavior is a coded message?
I highly recommend this book to any parent. I also suggest after reading it you check out the online discussion over at Code Name Mama.  Dr. Cohen is currently working on some new projects that are so exciting. He has a new book The Art of Roughhousing. He also has a Playful Parenting yahoo group and newsletter that are really inspiring. You can also find him on twitter.
Do you consider yourself a playful parent? Has playing helped release tense filled situations around your house? Do tell!!

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon September 13 with all the carnival links.)

• On being a more playful parent — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares how the Playful Parenting book impacted her.
• Parenting a toddler through play — Alicia at I Found My Feet lists some examples of how she uses play to parent through everyday tasks and challenges.
• Splashing in Puddles — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter shares how she learned to get dirty and have fun with her little boy.
• Say Please — Cassie at There’s a Pickle in My Life explains how they taught their son manners by “play,” showing that actions speak louder than words.
• No Nanny Needed — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life wishes parenting through play was her only responsibility during the day.

I’ll Run Away With Gypsies — Nikalee at Spotted Pandemonium maneuvers physical and emotional obstacles while spinning playful tales, jumping through hoops, and inspiring the kids to clean the living room.

• A Promise To My Daughter — Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure writes a poem for her daughter promising to use play instead of anger when facing difficult situations.
• Parenting Through Play — Not Always Easy But Always Rewarding — Amy at Peace4Parents discusses how play hasn’t always come easily to her, the power of appreciative observation, and how her family learns together through play.
• Imagination Plays a Role in Our Parenting — Tree at Mom Grooves shares how parents can use play to set the foundation for communication and understanding.
• A Box of Crayons — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about how a simple box of crayons has become a wonderful parenting and teaching tool.
• The Essential Art of Play — Ana at Pandamoly shares some of her favorite lessons available for young ones through play.
• The Art of Distraction — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro shares a list of distracting alternatives to harsh punishments in tough parenting situations.
• Grace and Courtesy Games at Home or School — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has ideas for grace and courtesy games that help you encourage courteous behavior without reprimanding your child.
• I am woman, hear me roar! — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares how one simple sound can diffuse an argument in an instant.
• Getting Cooperation Through Play — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about respecting the worldview of a preschooler by using play to encourage connection and cooperation.
• Playful Parenting = Extra Energy?? — Momma Jorje didn’t think she had the energy for playful parenting. See what she was surprised to learn…
• Dance Party Parenting — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen learned how to be the parent her children need through play.
• Wrestling Saved My Life — Wrestling is as vital to her son’s well-being as babywearing once was, finds Hannah at Wild Parenting.
• Parenting through play — By playing with her children, Tara from MUMmedia is given amazing opportunites to teach, train and equip her children for life.
• Parenting Through Play Starts in Infancy — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Issa from LoveLiveGrow shares that though she only has a 3-month-old, playful parenting has already started.
• Play Before Sleep — Adrienne at Mommying My Way writes about how playing and singing with her son before he falls asleep helps calm her frustrations that tend to arise at night.
• Playful Parenting — Or 5 Lessons My Son Has Taught Me About Parenting Through Play — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama has learned to be a better parent by following her toddler’s lead in play.
• Hurry up! Hurry up! I mean it! Quack, quack, quack! — Kellie at Our Mindful Life leads a trail of ducklings
• On the Road: Learning to Play — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers her inner adult through a summer of playing with her children.
• Preventing Tantrums Through Play — Gaby at Tmuffin explains how she keeps her household happy by not taking things too seriously.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play — Lily, aka Witch Mom, redirects unwanted behavior in a toddler using games and play.
• Exaggerating for effect — Lauren at Hobo Mama has learned how to ham it up.
• Handling Big Emotions with Role Playing — Zoie at TouchstoneZ plays at tempering her parental frustrations while helping her children handle some big emotions
• How To Herd Toddlers by Talking Pictorially — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama demonstrates how talking in pictures is a playful way to engage your young child in transitioning from one activity to the next.
• Getting a Toddler to Go Where You Want…Playfully — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how a game of hide-and-seek can be used to steer a wandering toddler in the direction of her choosing.
• Playful Parenting: Chores That Do Themselves — Remember chores when you were a kid? If chores were this fun for Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey, she wouldn’t have needed any reminders!
• Clown School Express: Playing away Fears — MudpieMama describes how she helped her boys confront their fears about starting kindergarten by playing with
  trains.
• Practicing Playful Parenting — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle realizes that playfulness is the best way through the day and seeks more ways to practice it.
• Today, Tomorrow and Every Day — Starr at Taking Time addresses her children in a letter sharing with them how improtant it is that they spend their childhood playing.
• Learning Through Immersion — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares how she helps her daughter develop naturally without focusing on teaching, but rather by immersing her in their family’s way of life and making her an active part of her environment.
• Play Here Now — Jessica at Instead of Institutions learns and relearns and tries to remember the value of play.
• Play: A Wonderful Parenting Tool — Mamapoekie from Authentic Parenting offers a list of examples on how to use play in real-life parenting situations.
• Playful Parenting — a Book Review — Erica at ChildOrganics shares simple yet sage advice from Dr. Cohen on how play can change your child’s life.
• Mock Threats: Turning Real Frustration into Playful Parenting — Threatening is not an effective discipline strategy, but Dionna at Code Name: Mama explains how parents can turn their frustration into playful moments by making “mock threats.”
• I’m Sick of Yelling — I Want to Play — Alicia at McCrenshaw’s Newest Thoughts realizes she needs to change the way she’s parenting and is forming a new plan.
• Sing-along, Brush-along Songs — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest shares a few songs to make brushing her three-year-old’s teeth more fun.
• Monster Voice — Ever have those frustrating moments with your kid(s) when you just want to scream? Amy at Anktangle shares a silly strategy for getting through those difficult times.