I remember growing up and my mom dropping me off to school. I was always willing to offer a hug and a kiss. On the other hand, my brother was not so eager.He was embarrassed at the idea. I remember my mom feeling crushed as he got older and he wanted his space from her while walking in the mall. It’s a normal part of growth for children to grow up and associate more with their peers and less with their parents. As they grow into young adults, they are preparing themselves for adulthood. This is a normal part of development that usually happens between 12 and 14 years old. They are building their own identity.
We are almost at the end of the A to Z blogging challenge. I have been writing on the topic of unschooling or organic learning all month. I’ve really enjoyed it. Today is the letter X, we could all use some XOXO’s.
So we have three teenagers, one that loves to hug and hold hands, and the other two.. not so much. Her top love language is physical touch, for sure. So she has always enjoyed snuggles, sitting in my lap, and always wanted to be carried as a child. Now as she is growing up I see her still cuddled up close to her siblings to watch a movie and she always gives us hugs goodnight. It’s important to know what kind of physical touch makes your child feel comfortable.
Knowing how to show affection through physical touch is an important part of parenting. It’s essential to know the right way to show physical affection as kids grow older and are resistant to the old fashioned hug. Step parents also need to learn a new way to show physical affection to their step children. Children that may resist and outright hug and kiss, are often open to a pat on the back or a high five. Playful parenting increases the opportunities for physical touch. Perhaps an arm wrestling challenge or a playful wrestling match in the living room will help everyone feel loved. Timing is important for sharing physical affection with your teens, they may not want a hug in front of their peers, but in the privacy of their home they may welcome it.
When spend most of your day with your children, day in and day out, you have lots of opportunities to see what makes them tick. You can pick up on their idiosyncrasies, and preferences. You can find out their love language and do what it takes to make them feel loved on a daily basis. I think this is another major benefit of home education, or organic learning. As parents it provides us a daily opportunity to learn about our children.